Updates from Kathleen Perkins

Why You Can’t Figure Out Your Style Anymore

Sun, 06 Sep 2026 11:00:00 -0400

Why the f*ck can’t I figure out how to dress myself anymore? If you feel like you’ve lost your taste, your voice, and your spark, this is for you.

If getting dressed feels weirdly hard lately, the problem may not be your closet at all. This post unpacks how women can lose touch with their own preferences after years of being praised for being easy, useful, and palatable, and why that disconnection runs deeper than style. It names the systems behind that blur, offers a powerful reframe for self-blame, and shows how small acts of self-trust can help you start finding your way back.

7 Signs You’ve Lost Yourself

Sun, 30 Aug 2026 11:00:00 -0400

You didn’t lose yourself overnight. You disappeared one tiny accommodation at a time. Here are 7 signs you’ve lost yourself and how to start finding your way back.

If you’ve been feeling flat, overly accommodating, or strangely absent from your own life, this post names the quiet ways identity loss happens without making you the problem. It unpacks seven deeply familiar signs of self-abandonment, from describing yourself only through what you do for others to feeling guilty for wanting anything that’s just for you. More than a list, it offers a sharp, feminist reframe for why this happens and a grounded reminder that lost is not the same as gone. The version of you that felt vivid, alive, and fully herself may be buried, but she is not gone.

Why Am I So Unhappy?

Sun, 23 Aug 2026 11:00:00 -0400

Everything looks fine on paper, but you still feel flat, restless, or quietly furious. That doesn’t make you ungrateful. It means something real is asking to be heard.

You’re Not Too Sensitive. You’re Being Disrespected.

Sun, 26 Jul 2026 10:48:46 -0500

After one HR call, I stopped trying to be the good girl at work. If you’re a woman being told you’re too sensitive for expecting respect, this is for you.

Your Body Is Not a Problem to Solve — She Is Home

Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Your body isn't a problem to be solved—she's the home where your Feral Unicorn lives. For decades, diet culture and the patriarchy have convinced you that your thighs are too big, your appetite is too much, your very existence takes up too much space. But the exhaustion you feel, the sense that you don't recognize yourself anymore, isn't a personal failure—it's the cost of estrangement from your own skin. Coming home to your body isn't about loving yourself more or optimizing harder; it's about remembering that she's not broken, she's been tamed. And when you finally stop fighting the only home you'll ever have, you free up enough energy to demand what you actually deserve.

Reclaiming Your Worth: Why Your Value Is Not Your Output

Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400

You've spent fifteen years proving your worth through productivity, and somewhere along the way, you stopped believing you were worth anything at all if you weren't producing something—but here's the truth that changes everything: your worth was never actually tied to what you do. The hustle hex, the patriarchy, and capitalism have worked together to convince you that you're only as valuable as your output, that rest is laziness, and that productivity is morality. But your body knows the lie. Your nervous system knows. And the moment you stop measuring yourself by what you produce and start measuring yourself by who you actually are, everything shifts. Reclaiming your worth starts now—and it starts with understanding that the curse was never about you being broken; it was about you being tamed.

Why Women Don't Support Each Other (And What the System Has to Do With It)

Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Women compete instead of support each other not because of jealousy or cattiness, but because the patriarchy installed a scarcity myth—the false belief that there's only room for one woman at the table. When you recognize that your success doesn't diminish mine, and when you stop seeing other women as threats, everything shifts: your power multiplies, solidarity becomes possible, and together, you become genuinely unstoppable. This is what happens when women stop fighting each other and start going feral together.

Why You Keep Saying Later (And What It's Actually Costing You)

Wed, 01 Jul 2026 12:00:00 -0400

You've been saying "later" for years: later when things calm down, later when the kids are older, later when you have more time. But here's the truth: later never comes, and the cost of that delay isn't small. Every time you postpone yourself, you're training your nervous system to believe you're not worth prioritizing, eroding your confidence one decision at a time, and building a life that doesn't actually fit who you are. The system isn't designed for things to calm down; it's designed to keep you busy, exhausted, and waiting. The only time that's ever truly available is now, and when you finally stop saying later and start saying yes to yourself, everything changes.

Going Feral: What It Actually Means (And How to Start)

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0400

There is a version of you that existed before the world taught you to be smaller, quieter, and more convenient. She didn't disappear—she went underground, tamed by systems designed to keep you functional and undemanding. Going feral isn't about burning your life down or becoming reckless; it's about reclaiming the undomesticated self who existed before you learned that being fully yourself came with a social cost. It's a homecoming, not a rebellion. In this post, we name the curses that did the taming—the patriarchy, capitalism, diet culture, the good woman script, and the hustle hex—and we show you exactly what it looks like to bring her back, starting today.

The Good Woman Curse: Why You Say Yes When You Mean No

Mon, 01 Jun 2026 12:00:00 -0400

You've said yes a thousand times when you meant no—to the party, the shift, the favor, the committee—and somewhere in that avalanche of yeses, you lost track of what you actually wanted. But this isn't a productivity problem or a time management fix. The Good Woman Curse runs deeper: it's the invisible rulebook that taught you your worth lives in how much you give, how little you complain, and how seamlessly you keep everyone else comfortable. The real cost isn't just exhaustion—it's your energy, your relationships, your identity, and ultimately, your actual life. What makes this curse so sticky isn't that you don't know you're allowed to say no; it's that your nervous system learned long ago that disappointing people wasn't safe, and no amount of willpower can logic you out of a pattern that lives in your body. But unlearning it doesn't require becoming someone new—it requires meeting the person you already are underneath all that performance, starting with the smallest, most honest questions: What do I actually want? And are the people in my life worth the cost of never asking?